Welcome to Edge of a Broken Heart, my first foray into the world of Bon Jovi Fan Fiction.

The start of the story can be found here and it can be navigated by using the menu to the left or by selecting newer post or older post at the bottom of each chapter.


Friday, February 20, 2009

Message from Venus

Hi Everyone,

Due to some unforeseen circumstances in my personal life I’m afraid my blogs won’t updated with the regularity they have been up until this point.  Please be assured that Frankie and Alex haven’t been forgotten, I will continue to plot and plan for both of them and I hope to see some regularity return in the next few months.  In the mean time, anything you can send me for inspiration would be greatly appreciated.  Sorry to keep you all waiting and thank you for your patience.  Please keep checking back...I’ll post as I can.


Sunday, February 15, 2009

Chapter 42

Alex moaned involuntarily and surrendered to his kiss, her arms wrapped around his neck, her warm soft body rubbed against his. He bent down and grabbed the back of her thighs spreading them wide and hoisting her up so that her robe fell open and her legs wrapped around his waist, her ankles locked holding her tight. He spun around and slammed her up against the door they had been standing before. Wedged there as she was, with no chance of falling, she used her now free hands to open his shirt. Her hands found the buttons, but in her haste her fingers fumbled and she was too impatient to wait so she ripped it open. Little plastic projectiles scattered to every corner of the room.

Jon held her tight bracing her with one hand under her ass as he used the other to fumble with his zipper.

"Bedroom." she ordered.

"Where?" He asked impatiently between kisses, unwilling to rip his mouth from hers.

Her only response was to indicate loosely in the right direction with a flick of her wrist, her mouth busy on his. He carried her in to the room and dropped her on to the bed and collapsed on top of her.

He pulled back from her long enough to position himself at her entrance.

"Are you sure Ali?"

"I need you," was her only response.

And then in one swift movement he plunged deep inside. A scream of ecstasy tore from her throat as he seated himself within her. He felt so good... he felt like home. He lay still within her as they both settled into the position. Their bodies fit together like two pieces of a puzzle.

He propped himself up on his elbows - his hands threaded into her hair - so that he could look into her eyes and then he began to move, ...slowly, sensually....rocking up and down along her body, then alternately moving his hips in a circular motion. Her clit was being stimulated with every movement by his pubic bone and before long she was on the brink of orgasm. He stopped moving then and rolled off her.

Her breath was coming in short pants. "Wha....Jon....What's wrong?...why did you stop?"

"Oh baby, I'm not stopping...I've only just begun" he said with smirk, propped up now on one elbow beside her.

Alex watched through hooded eyes as his eyes devoured her, taking in every delicious inch of her flesh. "I need to look at you baby," he said softly.

With a feather light touch Jon traced the outline of her lips with his forefinger. She opened her mouth slightly and he traced the line of her lower teeth as her tongue caressed the tip of her finger. He dragged her lower lip down and let it spring back up as he moved down over her chin and down the elegant line of her throat.

Alex tilted her head back to allow him better access and he leant in to follow the line with his tongue, pausing to kiss her in the hollow at the base of her throat before pulling back. Jon's hand now rested flat between her breasts. Her nipples strained for his touch but he did not indulge them. With his middle finger he traced lazy patterns along her sternum and under each breast. Her nipples were painfully hard now. Alex arched up towards him and his self control faltered, he swiped his tongue briefly over one erect little pebble and then blew across it, his warm breath feeling cool against her over heated flesh.

A soft moan escaped Alex's lips. She threaded a hand in his hair and tried to bring his mouth back to her breast but he resisted.

"Uh, Uh baby...not yet" He moved back up to her mouth and claimed it passionately with his, as his hand began to move lower.

Jon ran his hand across Alex's flat stomach, over her hip and down the back her thigh. Her breath was coming in shallow pants as her body anticipated what was to come next but Jon was not giving it to her that easily. He adjusted his position and rolled her so that they were face to face on their sides and hitched her leg over his hip.

He ran his fingers lightly up and down the back of her thigh causing goose bumps which soon spread all over her body. He nuzzled into her neck, and inhaled deeply the sweet scent of her hair, the scent that drove him wild, the scent that he had missed every day they were apart. He kissed his way to her lips and lost himself in the sweet taste of her mouth. If he could stay attached to her lips for the rest of his life he would never be able to get enough of them, the soft pliable flesh that grew plump and deepened in colour the more attention he lavished on them.

Tonight was a gift. He knew that. He also knew it was most likely the last they would ever have together, in just a few short days she would belong to another. He pulled her closer to him and hugged her fiercely. How would he ever go on knowing that she would never be his? As long as she had been single there was a chance that she would come around to his way of thinking...that chance was now all but extinct. He pulled back from her slightly to gaze upon her dazzling face. One arm laid under his head, bent at the elbow and curled back on itself, in the other he took her hand and entwined their fingers, gently stroking, playing as his eyes found hers and he searched their depths for some sign of the emotion she was feeling.

Alex had always had the most expressive eyes. They would always tell him what her words could not. Right now they spoke of love, a fiery inferno of passion and deep in their depths the sorrow that ultimately the flames of that passion would soon be extinguished forever. He wondered if that was even possible. He knew that from his own experience he hadn't even come close. Hell he hadn't been able to lessen that fire to anything less than a dull roar – a slow burn that consumed him wholly at the mere thought of her. He hoped, for the sake of her future happiness, she had more luck.

The urgency overtook him them. They no longer had years, months, weeks or days to define exactly what they were to each other. They had only hours to enjoy whatever it was.

His lips sought hers again with a fierce desperation. He pulled her tight against his body and rolled so that she was on top of him. He needed her to control what was to come next. He needed to feel her need. He needed to know that she wanted him every bit as much as he wanted her. And she did.

Alex smothered him with kisses. He marvelled that her mouth seemed to be in so many places at once, for every kiss left an indelible impression on his skin, a scorching path of pleasure. She kissed from the corner of his mouth across his strong jaw and down his neck. Her soft body still lay along his, a contradiction to the hard sculptured length of him; she didn't want to surrender that privilege just yet. She shimmed down a fraction so that she could access the taught little pebbles that were so well hidden in the masses of dark fur that covered his chest.

One tiny flick of her tongue elicited a deep rumbling groan from deep within him and a very persistent poking in the soft flesh of her stomach as his cock, impossible as it seemed, became even harder. She swirled her tongue several times around his nipple before nipping on it gently with her teeth and sucking it into the wet warmth of her mouth.

Jon's hand threaded into her hair, holding her to his chest as she teased him mercilessly, moving from one nipple to the other, while taking the neglected nipple between her fingers and manipulating it gently. Her other hand, still unoccupied, found its way between their tight pressed bodies to slowly stroke his throbbing member. It was rock hard but silky smooth as she moved her hand up and down its length, pausing to smear the pre cum across the head with her thumb.

Ever so slowly she began to rock up and down the length of his body, her hand now flat wedging his cock tighter against her body so that every minute movement was the most excruciating pleasure.

Alex looked into Jon's eyes as she rubbed against him. She watched the passion further ignite and grow in intensity until her mind likened his eyes to the very hottest blue core of a flame.

"Tell me what you want, baby" Her voice was husky, thick with sex.

He grabbed her head gently between his hands and pulled her to him until their lips touched and then spoke against them, his warm delicious breath invading her mouth. "I want this night to last forever."

It was not what she had expected. She tried again "What do you need.

"I need to be inside you, to feel your warmth wrapped around me. I need to feel you cum with me in you. I need to hear you scream my name as you do."

Alex placed her hands on his chest and pushed herself up to a kneeling position, then in one graceful movement impaled herself on his rock hard cock. At an even, measured pace she began to move up and down, arching her body so that each stroke of his cock stimulated that special spot within her, the one that would lead to a mind shattering orgasm if manipulated just right. A low moan escaped her.

"Fuck Jon, you feel so good!"

He tried to arch up to meet her, holding him down she threw his words back at him. "Uh, Uh baby...not yet"

She began to slowly pick up the pace.

Watching her fuck him was the most erotic thing Jon had ever seen, just watching his cock disappear, with each down stroke, into her warm tight pussy. He watched as her control slipped and instinct took over, her pace quickened and her breathing accelerated. Her hands found her breasts, caressing, manipulating, his found her clit, teasing, stimulating. She threw her head back and her silky mane brushed over his thighs and across his balls. The feeling was divine.

Jon felt when her climax was near and knew that he would be with her. He watched as her jaw tensed in an effort to retain control.

"Let it go baby," he urged, "I'm right there with you. Cum for me. Let me hear you scream."

And she did. Her legs began to quiver and then it exploded out in waves from her core, touching every fibre of her being. The magnitude of her release was like nothing she had experienced before.

"Fuck Jon yes, yes, yes!"

As promised he was with her. Alex felt his seed spill deep within her convulsing walls as he came in almost violent bursts, a strangled cry on his lips. Only when the last drops of his release had been spilled did she stop her motions and collapse on top of him. She nuzzled into his neck and his arms encircled her, holding her tight, their joint form finally silent and still.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Chapter 41

Alex emerged from the steaming hot bath, her skin now flushed pink from the almost scalding water. Her hair was swept up into a loose knot at the top of her head but loose damp tendrils escaped at the nape of her neck and along her hairline framing her face. Her cheeks like her body held a rosy glow.

She picked up the plush white robe from the hook and wrapped it around her body before moving into the bedroom of the hotel suite. It was just one of several that had been booked for the wedding which would take place in just a few days... her wedding. It seemed an impossibility, the day had come so very quickly.

As she walked into the bedroom, a garment bag hanging over the door caught her attention. Funny...she hadn't even heard anyone knock; obviously the valet had placed it there while she had been in the bath. She plonked herself down onto the bench seat at the end of the bed and stared long and hard at the bag then wondered, in amusement, what she expected it to do. It was almost as if she feared its contents. Perhaps because she knew what the bag contained ...her wedding gown.

It was as if the bag was beckoning her. She strolled to it dutifully and unzipped the long zipper that ran along its length then gently shrugged the bag over the shoulders of her gown delicately pulling the lacy creation from its sheath. It still took her breath away. Antique off-white lace, dotted sparsely with Swarovski crystals, fell from just under a ruched silk bust. When on, it clung to her curves enticingly to mid thigh then fell in flowing lines to the floor, a three foot train trailed behind. Inch wide gathered straps grew wider and flattened as they reached the top of her shoulders forming almost a sweetheart neckline. It was very different from the designs of the time, but very much Alex... feminine but with clean lines and no frills. A fine tulle fingertip veil, her only concession to current trends hung behind the gown.

Alex could not believe that time had rushed by so very fast. It seemed like only days before that she was standing in the Library at the Springsteen house with him. She took a sharp intake of breath as the memory hit her like a blow to the stomach. These days Alex did the best she could to keep him from her mind. It was proving to be a difficult task, one made all the more difficult by his insistent desire to contact her. Her staff, Lanie in effect, had fended off his daily attempts to contact her since their confrontation. She had to give it to him....he was nothing if not persistent, but Alex had no desire to see him after the horrible nasty things he had said to her. Unfortunately for her...if she was honest with herself.... the desire she felt where he was concerned was far worse.

A sharp rap on the door startled Alex and she moved over to the peep hole to see who it could be. She wasn't expecting anyone. Her parents and future in-laws would be arriving late the next day and Rick and his mates had flown to Las Vegas that morning for a couple of final celebratory nights of bachelorhood. On glancing through the peep hole all Alex could see were masses of Red roses. Rick, you sweet man, she thought to herself as she swung the door open.

"Hi," she said already turning to the table in search of her wallet, "I'll just get you a tip." She pulled a ten from her purse and was instructing the delivery man as she turned towards him. "Just put them on the...." she broke off mid sentence. "What are you doing here?" Her voice turned cold immediately.

Jon stood just inside the door to her hotel suite looking sheepish. "There was no other way I could get you to listen to my apology." He shrugged.

"Now isn't the time Jon" There was a hardness to her voice that he hadn't heard before and he cringed.

"Please Ali I didn't come here to fight with you." His pet name for her, regretfully, still set her heart to flutter "I've been beating myself up for the past two months over the things I said to you at Bruce's. I'm not here to do anything but apologize and wish you and Rick every happiness."

"Fine you've apologized now go," she said arms crossed defensively against her chest.

"I need you to know that I didn't mean any of those horrible things that I said." He moved a step closer and closed the door behind him.

Her tone was cool and even but she couldn't keep eye contact. "But you see I think you did...things said in anger often have some truth to them...so thanks for clearing it all up. It made my decision much easier. Believe it or not I was actually swaying for a while there while you were speaking."

Jon flashed a killer smile and chuckled lightly shaking his head. "You know one of the things I will always love most about you..." He moved another step closer to her "you are absolutely one of the most stubborn women I have ever met."

Much to her chagrin a smile crept into Alex's features.

He continued encouraged, "And you are wrong you know. I didn't mean those things. I was hurting and when I'm hurting I become an asshole."

"Yes you do" She agreed enthusiastically.

"Will you please accept my apology?" Jon moved to the desk, placed the large arrangement of flowers down gingerly and took her hand in his. "I will never forgive myself if we can't be friends again Alex. Please...please at least allow me that."

"Were we ever friends Jon," She asked pulling back from him and taking a step away. His close proximity was making her uncomfortable "I kind of think that we skipped that. Maybe that's where we went wrong."

"Well maybe we should start over." He held out a hand "Hi, I'm Jon."

Alex paused and eyed him suspiciously but reluctantly held out her hand but instead of a hand shake as she expected he raised her hand to his lips and placed a lingering kiss on her knuckles. The touch of his lips burned her skin...a heat that raced straight to her cheeks.

"Alex... pleased to meet you."

"The pleasure is all mine Alex," he said with a wiggle of his eyebrows. He had not yet released her hand. "Lovely suite you have here."

Alex's knees buckled and he caught her and steadied her.

"Are you ok?"

"Fine" She said "I think perhaps the bathwater was a little hot that's all." She said loosely indicating the direction of the bathroom, forgetting that her wedding dress was hanging over the adjacent door.

"So this is the dress?" He said trying hard to disguise the pain in his voice.

"It is. You like?" She glanced over her shoulder again, at the delicate off white lacy creation, following his gaze.

Jon was having a hard time finding his voice. For a man that made a living with his words, he seemed to be at a loss for them now. When he did manage to speak the sound that came from his mouth was strangely foreign... strangled with pain "You'll be the most beautiful bride who ever walked down the aisle."

"Thank you Jon. That means a lot. I'm glad you've come to your senses about this." She said quietly, she could see what it was costing him to express the sentiment.

The hint of a smile touched Jon's lips "Yeah, I have come to my senses about all this. And now that I have done what I came for, I should go." He agreed almost inaudibly as he once again reached for Alex's hands and pulled her close for a hug.

"Yes you should," Alex held on to him, not quite ready for it to be over.

"I hope you know that I only wish happiness for you." He whispered softly in her ear "He's a very lucky guy."

Jon stroked his fingers softly into the curls at the nape of her neck and pulled back to kiss her forehead.

"Thank you Jon...I just wish...." she paused.

"... things could have been different," he finished for her. "So do I honey, so do I."

Alex looked into Jon's eyes and saw the underlying sadness there. She delicately kissed the corner of his mouth but let her lips linger just a few seconds longer than she should.

"You shouldn't have done that Ali," he said, his voice husky as he turned his head slightly and roughly devoured her mouth.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Chapter 40

Alex moved over to a single armchair detached from all others in the room and sat on the edge stiffly. Jon picked up a low leather ottoman from the other side of the room and placed it before her. He sat down, their knees touching and grasped her left hand in both of his.

"I'm going to tell you some things that I've never told you or anyone else. And some of these things are really hard for me to say...hell they're hard enough for me to hear for that matter, or even think about."

Alex sat quietly before him but would not meet his eyes.

Jon continued, "But there are things that need to be said and believe me when I tell you I'm baring my soul here." Now Jon turned away...he did not want her to see the emotion in his eyes "So if you're gonna walk away afterwards... then please don't look back because I just don't think I could take it."

"But first" he said "I need to know just one thing from you. Can you answer just one question for me, honestly?"

Alex glanced at Jon and could plainly see the anguish that distorted his beautiful face. "I'll try." She said almost inaudibly.

Jon took one hand and titled her chin so that she was looking directly at him, her eyes would tell him all he needed to know "Do you love him Ali? Really, really love him? Is he the last person you're thinking of when you fall asleep, and the first person you're thinking of when you wake? When you're apart it feels like you're missing part of yourself, and when you're together, the happiness is indescribable?"

"He's a good man." She replied evasively.

"That's not what I asked Alex." Jon said sternly.

"Yes! I love Rick."

It was like a knife had been plunged into Jon's heart but he persisted "Yes but do you love him like that...like I described... because I love a lot of people Ali, but we both know there is a difference."

"I'm trying to," She whispered looking down at her hands as she twisted Ricks ring that felt heavy on her finger, "But I'm damaged goods."

Jon reached forward and placed the palm of his hand on her face gently caressing her cheek. When he spoke it was a gentle coo. "Oh baby... there is nothing, you hear me nothing about you that is damaged."

A single tear slipped down her cheek and she brushed it away frustrated "Yes there is Jon... you saw to that a very long time ago.....the first time I looked into your eyes, in that second you ruined me for anyone else, irrespective of anything that came after."

It took all the strength he had and every ounce of acting ability for Jon no to look triumphant in that moment. He raised the hand he still held to his lips and kissed her palm gently and held it to his cheek.

"See, so you do know how I feel, how I have always felt, about you Alex because it was the same for me."

She interrupted "It doesn't change anything though."

He looked at her sharply "Please let me finish" Alex sat quietly again "For whatever reason we were born ten years apart and half a world away from each other, but from the first moment I touched you I knew we were meant to be together."

"You know, after you made me leave you four years ago, I've had a lot of time to think and I've tried - God Alex I've tried so hard - to put myself in your shoes and I don't blame you for anything you did. Hell I didn't give you very many choices, did I?

"Not that I could see...." This earned her another stern glance.

"But now I'm asking you to put yourself in my shoes for a moment because if nothing else I've got to know that you understand why I did the things I did. Why they seemed like the right things to do at the time." He paused momentarily waiting for a protestation that didn't come. Surely that was a good sign. "Hell Alex, in so many ways I was trying to protect you. You remember when we first met?"

A wistful smile touched her lips "How could I forget?"

"You know for a middle class boy from jersey you were the most beautiful, the most exotic woman I could ever have dreamed of..."

"That's silly" She blushed profusely.

His eyed twinkled as he caught her gaze "Don't call my feelings silly. It's how I felt...how I feel...I still haven't found anyone that compares to you."

"My mind was racing a hundred miles an hour...all the things I wanted to do for you, to show you.... But God... then I found out you were just sixteen. Part of me wanted to be selfish Alex, part of me wanted to be really selfish and just not let that even matter. It wouldn't have been the first time I'd taken something I wanted, consequences be damned."

He stroked his knuckles along the delicate line of her jaw. "But you were so young, so very precious...how could I tear you away from everything that you knew. I mean...Australia is so far away...if I had brought you back here or on tour or where ever..."Jon struggled to find the words to adequately convey his thoughts, "I mean, I knew my own mind, even then I knew how I felt but I didn't know if you felt the same way, not really. How could I take you so far from home, away from everything that was familiar, only to find you had a change of heart and that everyone that loved you – everyone except me - was hundreds of miles away."

"I didn't want to just be some rock star crush. So I left but I did send letters Alex. God I used to sit in my hotel room in whatever godforsaken city we were in and pour my heart and soul into those letters. I know now you never got them, but at the time I was devastated. When I hadn't heard from you I presumed my Rock Star crush theory was correct and decided it was time to move on. But I didn't forget you... I never forgot you."

"What happened to the letters Jon?...You mentioned them at the resort too" Alex asked quietly...it had been a mystery to her for far too long now.

"Doc destroyed them. He didn't want any of us being involved with anyone. Apparently that fucked with our marketability, harder to market a heartthrob with a girlfriend. When I got home after the Jersey tour I confronted him about it and he confessed what he had done....needless to say the dumb fuck no longer works for us." He said, clearly still agitated by the topic.

"Hmm... I had wondered why he wasn't on this last tour." So she had followed the tour...good sign.

"I tried so hard to shield you from all the bullshit back then...it wasn't anything you needed to know. There was no need to get you involved in my problems besides you made it pretty clear at your mom's that you didn't want me around."

"See Jon here is the problem...on one hand you are begging me to be a part of your life but on the other you are shielding me from it."

"Well yes I HAVE been shielding you from it because I wanted to protect you. I didn't want to burden you with all the drama in my life. I didn't want to tell you all these things but what choice are you giving me now. I can't fight Rick for you. You are absolutely right about one thing... he doesn't have all the issues that I have. But hell Alex if I didn't tell you everything now while I have the chance, I'd always wonder if I could have said something to make you see my point of view, and why I did some of the things I did"

"I understand why you left that first time Jon...I always have. What I have never understood – and we have had this conversation before - is why, considering you profess that I am the love of your life, why did you marry her."

"I have explained this to you Ali," he said as he leaned back and looked away, thinking of how best to explain it now so that she truly understood, "You know now what it is to tour Alex. And you know that one was particularly bad for me. I was.... desperate, for lack of a better word, for something to hold onto, something to give me some stability. Shit my head wasn't screwed on right. My voice was failing, it was a constant source of distress, it had become so bad that I was getting steroid injections." He laughed a bitter little laugh "But the machine had to keep going. There was no insurance if I couldn't work and the pace was brutal."

Alex wondered if he was referring to himself as the machine or the tour as a whole.

Jon continued "We were all getting on each other's nerves and that just got worse over time. I was exhausted, beyond exhausted. I know this sounds like a copout but if there is such a thing as temporary insanity I had it. Dorothea has always been..." he paused as he searched for the right word to use "...she's always been..." another pause, briefer this time "...comfortable. I had all these unknowns being thrown at me on a daily basis, not the least of which was if my band would make it through til the end of the tour. We had all the success we could hope for and I should have been on top of the world but I felt like I was on the bottom."

"I'm sure you've heard the saying 'It's lonely at the top'. Well that was me. And well Dot and I...I guess we have known each other for so long, I was just reaching for something familiar. I know I've said this to you before.... that you've heard the story, but it was completely spur of the moment. And looking back I think maybe I was trying to piss some people off too, Doc for sure, maybe even the label, all the people who were trying to tell me how to run my own fucking life. That was the one thing I could do that they had no fucking control over. But believe me when I tell you... almost the instant that it was over I realized I had made a mistake, but then I felt trapped. Doc and the label was trying to figure out the right way to spin it, and fuck if I admitted I had made a mistake then I just would have heard a bunch of I told you so's. And to be honest, I couldn't hurt her either; she was innocent in all of it. I mean, she thought I was crazy but she just went along with it."

"Because she loves you Jon" Alex said quietly as he paused.

"Well of course she does, and I love her too" now it was Alex's turn to feel the sharp pang of the knife "but not the way I love you Alex. There is a big difference. I love her more like a like a sister or a best friend. Kind of how you love Rick."

"But she doesn't Jon...she does love you that way...the way you described."

"No Ali, she doesn't. I mean hell, you remember when we were together in Queensland... she basically told me to fuck whoever I wanted to. If she loved me that way would she have said that?"

"Well how do you explain Stephanie?"

"Alex, babies are made every day and not necessarily between two people who even love each other, much less are married."

"Why would you bring a child into a loveless marriage?"

"Please don't bring my child into this." His words stung her and he saw the hurt in her eyes. He tried to explain. "I didn't say I don't love Dot, I do. It's just not like what I have with you. And fuck... I mean...it's not like we had this timed or anything. Shit happens!"

"Maybe from your perspective... but I'm sure she sees things differently."

"Why do you think you have this big insight into what she thinks and feels?"

"Regardless this is getting us nowhere..." Alex interrupted.

"Trust me, she's gotten what she wants. Look at how she lives"

"I saw the way she looked at you Jon..still looks at you...believe me she doesn't see you as a brother or best friend. Maybe if she did it would make it easier for me to do what you asking of me. Maybe if I didn't see her in the back of my mind every time we are together"

"Trust me on this, I know her better than you do. You're reading too much into her. She's not all that complicated. She knows how my life is and she doesn't object. She lives in a nice place and will never have to work a day in her life...and now she's got a baby to concentrate on. So if it's really just Dorothea that is standing between you and I, well we just have to figure out a way to push her aside"

"And that will excuse you to fuck around behind her back" Alex spat.

Jon was taken aback by her words...he had thought she was starting to come around. "Alex... I'm hurt"

"Why it's true isn't it?"

"Not for a long time truth be known...about four years now." It was Alex's turn to be taken aback. "Listen you know better than anyone that I'm no saint but I have never been this honest with another woman in my entire life... including Dorothea."

"So, why me? Why now?" She couldn't help but ask the burning question.

"I have never felt the need to explain myself to any woman, except you. You make me want to be worth your love, worth your trust. I know I'm not perfect Alex...far from it.... but you make me want to be a better man for you." He paused and watched the internal struggle as she chose her words.

"I think your fighting a losing battle Jon. You could never be the man I need."

Her words were unexpected, and though she has spoken them quietly, calmly...to him they contained more venom than the deadliest snake.

"So what I've said doesn't even make a difference to you, does it?" She could see that he barely held onto his temper now and waited for the explosion.

"Didn't I say from the start that it couldn't...as long as you have a wife nothing can make a difference."

"You know what Alex? I don't think you don't even know what kind of fucking man you need." He said out of spite. It was the temper she had heard about. He stood abruptly sending the ottoman skittering across the floor behind him.

"I know I don't need YOU" She jumped to her feet, just inches from him, her voice raised now.

"Really baby? You don't need me?" He pulled her aggressively into his arms and held her there as he kissed her forcefully, but before she could even respond he was pushing her away." She raised a hand to her tender bruised lips.

"I pity Rick. You only think you don't need me, but just wait Alex, just wait til you're trapped in a loveless marriage and he doesn't satisfy you the way that I do. I know he can't, so don't even fucking try to lie to me."

"Oh so last week you didn't hear me screaming his name in the early hours of the morning...I'm so glad....I wouldn't want to give you a complex. You see, Rick... well he even puts Richie to shame." It wasn't too far from the truth, he had all the equipment...but Jon was right...he didn't have the same effect on her...no one ever would. But there was no way in hell she was letting him know that.

"You fucking bitch don't even try that shit with me," The steely contempt of his tone caused a shiver in her, "You think I'm jealous of him? I think perhaps you've forgotten who you're talking to."

"Ooh I know very well who I'm talking to and I know you are insanely jealous! There's no doubt in my mind!" Her eyes narrowed and her jaw clenched.

"Honey you wanna know what I know..." he paused for effect, "I know he doesn't put a smile on your face like I can. I'm not jealous of him... I fucking feel sorry for him Alex." A sadistic smile crossed his lips. "Don't you think maybe you should cut him loose and let him find a wife who will really love him?"

"Oh baby, don't feel sorry for him. He gets the prize and unlike your wife, he has a partner who is faithful" She smiled sweetly.

He stood there his whole body rigid with anger. He ground out between clenched teeth "For the last time, leave...my...FUCKING....WIFE...out of this."

"Oh and you think you're a PRIZE now princess?"

"You know I am!" she responded smugly.

"What happened to the sweet little Aussie girl I remember? You've changed Alex."

"Yes Jon. You changed me. On that beach in Queensland you changed me forever." She retorted.

"Oh no don't you blame this shit on me. You go take a long look in the mirror. You know what I think?... I think you're right, I'm fucking better off without you. I can't fucking believe waited for you in that fucking hotel in Sydney hoping you would change your mind. What kind of idiot?!..." He stood shaking his head in disbelief...this wasn't how it was supposed to go down.

"I told you at my parents I had what I wanted from you," she said coldly, no trace of emotion was evident to him despite the torrent that raged within her.

He needed to hit something and he had never hit a lady in his life. The next best thing was the wood panel wall behind him. He turned and slammed his fist into it so hard that he heard his knuckles crunch, and wondered if they were broken. But he could feel no pain...the anger raging through him numbed all other sensations.

He turned to her and glared "Yeah well you know what babe?"

"What rock star?" She knew, to him, it was the worst kind of insult.

"If I were a fucking whore like you, I'd prove to you that I could have you right now" Fuck how did that come out of my mouth, "hell I could have fucked you in the pantry the other day." Smooth Jonny...

A loud crack rang throughout the room as her open palm connected with his cheek in the most brutal way. Jon rubbed his cheek in disbelief as he glowered at her, though he knew he deserved it...and far worse.

Alex was shaking furiously "GET OUT" were the only words she could manage through clenched teeth.

"Gladly bitch!" he said already at the door. He swung it open with a ferocity that even alarmed him and slammed it shut behind him.

He paused on the other side of the door. There was no way he could re-enter the party like this. He took several deep cleansing breaths and that's when he heard it, choking, heart-wrenching sobs coming from the other side of the door.

"Fuck" he cursed. "Does it ever end?" Deep pangs of regret gnawed at him until he felt they would consume him.

Jon had his hand on the door knob and was turning it when he felt a light tap on the shoulder.

"There you are. I've been looking for you. Is everything ok?" Dot asked her husband.

"Fine," he snapped, "get the baby! We're leaving!"

"But Jon," Dot looked at her husband confused, with one eyebrow raised, "It's not even midnight?" Her tone was questioning.

"Now Dorothea" He snapped sharply.

Dot knew better than to argue with her husband when he was in one of his moods. Without another word she turned around and stalked away.

Jon stood for a moment more gathering his emotions and thoughts, rubbing his closed eyes as if to erase the pained expression on her face that keep replaying in his mind. How could I be such an ass? How could this ever have been her fault?

From her place of concealment just outside the French doors, Alex heard the door open just as she had minutes before causing her to flee. The door remained open a crack and she could hear movement within the room but she was not ready to face anyone yet. As soon as the visitor was gone she would escape back through the library to the anonymity and safety of the guest house. And then she heard his voice.

"Fuck, FUCK! What have I done?"