Chapter 59

Alex rushed through the back door of her New Jersey home and scooped the phone off the counter just as the answering machine picked up. "Hello...hello, I'm here...hang on." She ran over to the machine and hit the stop button. When the sound of her own message had finally ceased she spoke into the receiver again. "Hello?"

"Hey baby." His voice was low and sexy...hell it was always sexy. The edge of seduction in it would usually have her thighs quivering but not this evening.

"Oh, hey Jon." She replied flatly.

"What's wrong Ali?"

"Nothing...everything...I don't know," she sighed.

If she was being honest, she would admit to herself she knew exactly what was wrong...things just hadn't been right for her since Dot had had the baby. It had hit her harder than she thought it would...and she had promised herself that she would never go through that again. But that meant....and she wasn't ready for that. She wouldn't give him up...she couldn't...not yet. But if there was another child.... She pushed the thought from her mind. It was silly to worry about things that most likely would never happen. Jon had promised her that Jesse was the last.

"What's going on? Why so down?" He asked gently.

"Just a tough day I guess." Alex shrugged irrespective of the fact he couldn't see her, "I'm feeling a little sorry for myself."

"Well I have the perfect antidote for that. I am taking you out." He said cheerily.

"I don't think so, Jon." Alex said glumly.

"What do you mean you don't think so?" He asked. "You're always complaining that we never go anywhere. And now I arrange it so we can and you say no?"

"I'm sorry Jon...I just don't feel like going out. I just came in from the garden...I'm a mess and ... to be honest.... I just couldn't be bothered." Alex dropped onto the stool at the counter and propped her head up with one hand.

"I'd offer to come to you but I know how you feel about me being in that house...I won't do that to you again." He said resigned. "Can we at last meet somewhere on neutral territory? I need to see you baby. Even if it's only for a few minutes."

The desperation in his voice tugged at her heart. "No babe...you know what...just come here. It will be fine. I mean I don't think I could ....you know...but I would love to be able to spend some time with you...just the two of us. Maybe snuggle up and watch a movie or something. Since Jesse was born I've hardly seen you...and soon you'll be gone on tour and..."

He cut her off. "When do you want me there?"

"Come when you're ready. I'm just gonna jump in the shower."

"Want someone to scrub your back?" She could hear the mischief in his voice.

Silence echoed down the line and he could almost see the look of disapproval on her face.

"It was joke, Ali." He chuckled

"No, it wasn't," she said firmly, brokering no argument. "But I can't do that, Jon. Not here. If that's what you're coming for, just forget it."

"I'm sorry baby...that's honestly not it. I just want time with you...no matter how we spend it. I'll be there in twenty."

"I'll leave the back door open." She said quietly and rose from the stool.

"See you soon." He heard the line click and pressed the disconnect button. Thankfully Dorothea had taken the kids to visit with her mother so he didn't have to explain where he was going. He grabbed a jacket from his bedroom. While winter was officially over, the nights still held a bite.

Standing at the door to his garage he considered his options. His lips curved up in a grin as he fingered a set of keys on the rack near the door.

As he pulled out of his driveway and onto Somerset Drive, the sun sank below the horizon behind him, casting an eerie glow as it back lit the dark heavy clouds that were just starting to blow in from the ocean. Just five minutes later he was pulling into her driveway.

As Alex stepped into her pyjama's she heard an engine growl and then die somewhere towards the front of her house. In fact she had heard that engine rumble its progress most of the way down her street. She ran down the hall way to the guest room at the front of the house and peered through the window. There, sitting on her driveway was a Harley Davidson motorcycle, tiny star bursts glittered from the chrome, sparkling under the glow of her security lights. A dark figure was stalking away from the bike and heading for her back yard. She flew down the stairs and met him at the door.

His faded blue jeans were tight, and hugged his thighs - and she was sure his fine ass - to perfection. She followed the line of them down to black scuffed biker boots. The matching jacket hung open to reveal a fitted white T-shirt beneath. The well worn black leather was soft to the touch as she pulled him to her for a welcome kiss.

"Conspicuous much?" She observed as she pulled away from his lips.

He chuckled, and the rumble of it vibrated through her. "Sorry babe. I couldn't help myself. It's been so long since I've taken her out. Do you think I can get her in the garage though? Looks like we're in for one hell of a storm. I didn't realise until I was pulling out of the driveway."

"I'm sure we can squeeze it in." She smiled and leaned up to kiss him again.

He indulged for just a moment before pulling back. "Baby...if you keep that up, I can't be held responsible for what happens."

"Sorry." She replied looking down.

"Hey," he said, tilting her chin up until their eyes met, "It's fine. It's just hard for me to be around you and not...well you know. But really, it's fine. We'll deal. Even if I have to find you a chastity belt." She offered him a tentative smile and his heart lurched. "Now, you go open the garage so I can bring the bike in and then we'll settle in for a movie...maybe order in a pizza. What do you say?"

"Sounds perfect." She gave him one more quick hug and headed for the garage.

Two hours later they were sitting cuddling on the couch. "Ok, are you ready?" Jon asked excitedly. "There." He said pointing at the screen.

"Where? Alex whined, turning away as she suppressed a cheeky smile.

"Oh come on Ali. You must have seen it that time. I was right there." He protested, pointing a little more forcefully. "Right there," he repeated. They were watching Young Guns II and he had spent the last few minutes rewinding and replaying the tape to show her his 'part'. Alex knew exactly when he appeared on the screen. She had watched the film countless times on her own just to see the few brief seconds he was on the screen but the opportunity to tease him was far too good to pass up.

She shrugged noncommittally.

"Fine," he huffed, "one more time. But if you don't see it this time, I swear Ali..."

"You'll act it for me personally? Will you fall for me Jon?" She giggled, covering her heart with both hands and feinting back onto the couch.

"Oh honey, I fell for you the second I saw you...and I haven't stopped falling since." He said, his voice softening. "Now watch." He added a little more sternly.

As the tape began to play, Alex rose from the couch and with barely a glance at the screen pointed to the exact spot that Jon would appear.

"You little brat," he growled, as he launched himself at her and brought her tumbling to the floor beneath him. She just giggled. He brought his mouth down to hers effectively stifling her laughter.

Passion ignited between them and what started out as innocent teasing soon evolved into something much more dangerous. Ali pulled back first. "We have to stop Jon."

Immediately he began to rise off her, though not without tremendous effort. She pulled him down for one last chaste kiss....a thank you for being understanding....and the whole process started again...roaming hands, panting breaths, writhing bodies. And that was when the phone rang.

"Fuck!" he exclaimed when she wriggled out from beneath him, more out of frustration than anger. Jon looked at his watch, 12.54am. "Who the hell calls you at this hour?" he asked, but was sure he didn't really want the answer. He rose and started to leave the room as Alex crawled towards the phone. He wasn't going to stick around for phone sex. Not unless he was on the receiving end.

Alex took a second to get her breath and then answered calmly. "Hello?"

There was a few seconds pause then, "Mum...what...?" Jon immediately halted and spun to face her. There was another pause. "Oh..." It came out on a whoosh of air. Jon watched her face pale as she listened further. "I'll be there as soon as I can." Pause. "No, Mum...I'm coming home. You need me. Da..." her voice cracked, "Daddy needs me. I'll make arrangements as soon as I get off the phone."

When Alex tried to put the phone back in its cradle her hands were shaking so badly she couldn't even manage it. Jon gently took the phone from her hand and put it down on the side table.

"What's going on baby?" He asked.

No answer. Alex just stood there staring off blankly to some far distant place.

He stepped in front of her and tried again. "Ali...baby...what's happened?" He shook her gently.

Her eyes gained focus. "Wh...what?" She said shaking her head as if trying to clear it.

"What's happened at home Alex?" He asked again clearly.

She frowned, "Daddy...there was...he was at the bank. There was a robbery...he..."she looked up at him, puzzlement and disbelief clouding her eyes, "he was shot, Jon. Daddy was shot, just standing there in line..."

"Is he..." Jon started.

"I have to get home. Shit Jon, I need to call the airlines. I need to..." In those few seconds she went from numb to frantic.

Jon grabbed her by the shoulders. "Ali listen to me. How bad is it?"

"They don't know. He hasn't regained consciousness. The bullet hit somewhere near his spine, but they aren't sure of the extent of the damage yet. I need to ring the airlines Jon." She tried to push past him, but he held her firm.

"Let me make a call first," he said pulling out his cell.

"I don't have time for this Jon. I have to get home."

"I know baby, I know. You start packing. I'll organise the rest. Just trust me ok?" He said calmly. He was the voice of reason she needed.

When Alex walked back into the room twenty minutes later, a large duffle in one hand and her purse hanging from her other arm, Jon was perched on the arm of the couch, foot tapping impatiently. He looked up when he heard her enter.

"Ok!" he exclaimed, "Got your keys?" he asked, and nodded when she opened her palm to show him that she did. "Let's go." He took the keys from her hand and grabbed the duffle.

"Where are we going? There is no way you booked a flight at this hour." She said trailing after him towards the garage.

"Yes honey, there is. It's called a private jet and it will be sitting on the tarmac waiting to take off by the time we get there."

"I can't do that Jon. I can't take your plane. Just book me a commercial flight. It will be fine."

"Baby, listen...now isn't the time to be stubborn or proud. I can't give you much and I can't do much for you...but I can do this. Your Dad isn't doing so great right now and you need to be with him. This is the quickest way to get you there, so damn it this is the way you're going." He said sternly.

Alex knew it was a fight she wasn't going to win; even if she could she wasn't sure she wanted to. Besides, Jon was the most infuriatingly stubborn man she had ever known. But she had to try nonetheless. "I have to call Rick." She said. It was a futile attempt and she knew it.

"You can call him from the plane." He put her in the passenger seat of her car.

"What about the paperwork...my visa...?" she asked.

"Sorted." He said simply.

Alex could think of no other line of protest. Once on the road to the airport, Alex once again retreated into a world of her own. Jon looked over at her every couple of minutes, worry deepening the few lines on his face. She was oblivious to his attention, seeing only a blur of lights out the side window as the car sped forward into the night.

They made it to the airport in record time and after a few words to the guard at the boom gate they were directed out onto the runway. Jon pulled the car to a stop before the jet. Bon Jovi was blazoned boldly down the side. He jumped out of the car, grabbed her bags from the trunk and threw the keys to a man standing nearby, just a streak of lightening brightened the night sky. The thunder clap that followed made Alex jump so severely as she exited the car, that she hit her head on the door aperture.

"Park it in the hanger Tony," he instructed. "Thanks." He turned to Alex, "Are you ok baby? That was quite a bump there?"

"I'm fine." Alex dismissed the injury with the wave of her hand. "Where is he taking the car? If he parks it in the hanger, how are you getting home?" Alex asked over her shoulder as she headed for the plane at an almost-run.

Jon was right on her heels. "I'm not." He yelled over a second thunder clap. "I'm coming with you."

Chapter 58

It was a chilly day in February when Jon rushed from the cab directly into the foyer of a large tower of concrete, steel and glass in Manhattan. Outside a constant drizzle of sleet drifted down from gloomy grey skies. He gave his head a quick shake to rid his hair of the icy slush, and adjusted the deli bag in his arms. If Alex wouldn't come to him he would go to her, God damn it. He had tried earlier to entice her to lunch, but she assured him she was far too busy with a strict deadline to meet. She had done a photo session for an album cover, and the edited images needed to be submitted the following day so the covers would go into production on time. He nodded to the doorman as he passed, stepped into a conveniently waiting elevator and hit the button for the 24^th floor, where he knew Alex would be slaving away in her new city residence come studio.

A sharp rap on the door had Alex's head shoot up. She wasn't expecting anyone today...it was the weekend for Christ sake...she didn't generally see clients on weekends...but did that stop them from coming around? She ignored the persistent tapping. When the intruder knocked more forcefully, she cursed but tried to remain focused on the work before her. When the knocks turned into loud thuds, she strode to the door with the sole purpose of telling the person on the other side of it just where they should shove their fist. She swung the door wide with a serious amount of bluster, but the second she saw who was standing on the threshold, all the wind went out of her proverbial sails.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, an edge of her recent annoyance creeping into her voice.

"Aw, come on baby," Jon cooed as he stepped through the door, "don't I deserve a better welcome than that? I did bring lunch after all." He held up the deli bag.

"Ooh, what did you bring?" Alex asked excitedly.

"So you don't get excited when your lover...a stunningly gorgeous international rock star slash actor, no less....," he added mockingly, "...turns up on your doorstep to fuck you senseless...but you do get excited over the food he brings. Hmmm....we may have to work on your priorities Miss Belle." He still couldn't bring himself to think of her as married, let alone refer to her in that sense. So the maiden name remained, besides he justified to himself, she still used it professionally anyway.

Alex giggled. "I only wish I had time to be fucked senseless. Now what's in that bag?"

"Only the best pork roll sandwich Jersey has to offer," he beamed at her.

"Hmmm yummy...you definitely do deserve a good fucking..." she said, he grinned and reached for her but she stepped deftly out of his path and continued, "but can we take a rain check til this job is in the bag...literally in the bag. I need to get it in an overnight satchel first thing in the morning."

"I can wait. Eat first, work second, fuck last. You should always leave the best for last anyway...and I am definitely the best." He wiggled his eyebrows.

"Ha, Ha." Alex replied.

After a very satisfying lunch, Jon insisted on staying to keep her company while she worked. He settled on the couch with a book, and without so much as a murmur of complaint, let her go about her business.

When dinner time rolled around he ordered in pizza and made sure she ate, before returning quietly to his book. He was exhibiting patience she didn't even know he possessed. She doubted that when he had insisted on staying he had any idea of what he was letting himself in for...but he had showed no signs of wanting to leave anytime soon.

It was hours later, as Alex was bent over a light board full of negatives, that the sound of deep rhythmic breathing drifted to her ears. She turned slightly and looked over her shoulder to the long, white, low line couch that was the only piece of furniture gracing a wall of windows. Outside the city lights twinkled against the inky black backdrop of deep night, only a few stars bright enough to compete. Inside, another kind of star dozed on her couch.

He lay stretched out on his back. His left arm was slung carelessly across his face shielding his eyes from light, his right hand rested on the bare expanse of skin created where his soft blue cotton T had ridden up from his low slung faded denims. The book he had been reading rested open and face down on the floor beside the couch.

Alex grabbed her camera and crept quietly towards him. She checked the camera settings and shot off a rapid succession of photos. Jon stirred under the intrusion of the camera flash, not quite waking but rolling onto his side, resting his cheek upon his clasped hands. A stray lock of hair fell across his face. Alex moved forward and ever so gently pushed it back and away from his eyes, before crouching in front of him with her camera aimed. Dropping her camera she paused and just looked at him...really looked at him. In sleep he was stripped of all the responsibilities and trappings of fame and fortune, he was just a man...a gorgeous, sweet, sexy, thoughtful man, who in that moment, looked so carefree, so vulnerable, that her heart swelled with love.

This was the man she had fallen in love with so long ago. Over the years she had periodically questioned her feelings and motives in loving him, often wondering if she had been captivated by the rock star instead of the man. In this moment all of those doubts melted away. There was only one reason why she was here, and he was lying peacefully asleep in front of her.

Alex raised the camera and took a couple more pictures before putting it aside and kneeling on the floor at his head. With a feather light touch, Alex brushed her fingers through the hair at Jon's temple and bent to kiss him lightly on the lips. "My love," she whispered against them.

As she rose and turned to head back to her desk, he snagged her hand and pulled her down on top of him.

"Oh you...you..." she squealed, swatting him playfully on the chest as she nestled into his arms. "You are supposed to be asleep."

"How could I sleep through that kiss? I thought the prince was supposed to awaken Sleeping Beauty with a kiss...not the other way around." he smiled up at her...a slightly crooked, sleepy, sexy smile and then drew her down to him for a kiss. The second their lips touched the spark ignited and all thoughts of sleep or work were banished.

The kiss was languorous and consuming. Jon reached up to the nape of Alex's neck, where he found the clip that bound her hair and released it. Lustrous waves of deep auburn cascaded over her shoulders and around them. Jon threaded his hands in it and twined its silky strands around his fingers.

Alex let her hands drift over the firm lines of his chest until she found the pert buds of his nipples through his shirt. She gave them a little tweak and smiled when his chest rumbled with an almost inaudible groan. Jon held her tightly to him before sitting up abruptly and yanking the offending garment off over his head...he wanted nothing in the way of her touching him.

When Jon collapsed back onto the couch, Alex remained upright and adjusted her position so she was straddling him. She could feel his rock hard length pulsing, even through their two layers of denim jeans and the one of filmy lace that covered her core. She scored her fingernails down his chest, flicking over erect nipples, continuing down over defined abs, before resting her palms flat just below his pectorals, where she could feel his ribcage expand and contract with each ragged breath.

Jon could feel the wet heat of her core penetrate their clothing as she undulated above him. With each movement, the coarse texture of the denim rubbed across the tip of his cock, eliciting a sharp intake of breath. He lifted his hands and took her face between them, tracing the lines of first her jaw and then her collarbones with his thumbs as he flattened his palms against her overheated flesh and began his journey down. He paused at the swell of her breasts to cup them as he rolled her nipples expertly between his thumb and forefinger. Her movements became more urgent, and in turn so did his.

As Jon's hips arched up off the couch beneath her in his desperation to get closer, Alex felt the sweetest sensation shoot from her core to every nerve, from the very top of her head to the tips of her curled toes. Her head fell back in pleasure, exposing the graceful line of her throat. Unable to resist, Jon sat up pulling her to him, nuzzling into that sweet place just below her jaw.

The sensation of her soft mounds with their erect nipples against the hard plains of his chest was his undoing. He lowered her onto her back and came down on top of her.

"God Alex, look what do you do to me?" He rumbled, grasping her hand and putting it on his erection. She rubbed up and down his length through the fabric of his jeans and he moaned. "Oh fuck yeah," he growled through clenched teeth.

Alex smiled. "Baby," she cooed, "I haven't even started yet."

She managed to manipulate her other hand in between them to join the first at their joined crotches, and began to work on the fly of her jeans. Realising what she was doing, Jon raised his pelvis off her slightly, and with a little difficulty, Alex managed to undo her jeans and wiggle them off her hips. The black lacy creation beneath them could barely have been considered underwear.

"Christ," Jon muttered against her lips after looking down her length, "you're trying to kill me here aren't you."

His mouth claimed hers with an urgent possession, his tongue slipping inside as his finger slid under the lace and into her core. She moaned.

Her hands fumbled at his zipper. "Off," she said urgently.

He lifted a little once again. The second his pants were open, her hand was inside them, her fingers wrapped around his hard thick length, pre-cum oozing onto her palm as she stroked him.

An alarm sounded, and a vibration buzzed at Jon's hip. "What the fuck?" she snarled.

To Jon that noise was like a bucket of ice water. Every muscle in his body tensed. "Please God, not now....not now." He whispered, dropping his head to her shoulder. But instinctively she knew.

"What?"

He reached to unclip the offending article from the waist band of his jeans. She hadn't noticed it before. It was a pager. He glanced briefly at the screen and cursed. "I have to go."

"Why? What's going on? What's...." the question trailed off as realisation hit. "You've got to be fucking kidding me? Now?"

He nodded.

"Could the woman have worse fucking timing?"

"Jesus, Ali I'm so sorry."

"Just go." She said softly. Alex watched as the panic from her words touched his eyes. He thought she meant he had to leave for good.

"You mean..."

She didn't allow him to finish the sentence, "I mean... go be with your pregnant wife. She needs you more than I do right now. I'll be here when you can get back." She assured him.

"I don't want to leave you like this." He said, clearly torn. He had moved himself into a sitting position and she got up to sit beside him.

"Jon, your wife is in labor...you have to go." She rose to her feet, he followed, pulling her to him.

"Fuck baby, I really am sorry." He looked at her pleadingly.

"It's fine Jon. I'm fine." She kissed him tenderly then disengaged from his arms so he could dress. She bent to retrieve his shirt from the couch arm, where it had landed just a few minutes earlier, while he fastened his pants. She turned the shirt out so it was the right way around and handed it to him. "Now you need to go."

He pulled the shirt over his head and ran his fingers through his mussed hair. "I love you." He whispered in her ear as he drew her in for one final hug.

"Love you too." She said as she pulled back. She kissed him chastely on the lips. "Now go...before you miss it." She urged.

"You are one special lady Ali. You know that?" He said as he headed for the door.

She smiled. It was a small tight smile. "Call me when there's news." She called after him as she followed so she could lock up behind him.

"You'll be the first. I promise." He raced back to her, kissed her again and was gone.

Alex slid down the wall and sunk to the floor near the door, her knees drawn up to her chest. She hated this...really hated it. No matter what they may have together, this was something she could never give him. It was a connection they would never share...not only that, it was one she would never have with anybody...and that knowledge was absolutely devastating. Tears coursed down her cheeks as her body was wracked with silent sobs of desolation.

Alex sat slumped against the wall for a long time, until the chill from the cold concrete wall permeated her bones. When she shivered, she looked down at herself and realised she was still all but naked. She drew herself off the floor and walked zombie like into her room, not bothering to head back into the studio to clear up and or even turn off the lights. She fell into bed and soon after into a restless sleep, filled with dreams of a dark haired, baby girl with her gentle features and Jon's blue eyes.

She started awake when the phone rang. Fumbling to retrieve it from the side table, she was finally able to answer it on the forth ring. "Hello?"

"It's a boy."

And the tears started again.

Chapter 57

Alex and Rick sat in the Salon César Ritz, enjoying the breakfast buffet that had been catered exclusively for the guests of the wedding. Both of their plates were piled high with sausage, eggs, bacon and toast. They were refuelling for their last night together in Paris. Tomorrow they would each catch a plane, Rick back to the Middle East and Alex back to New York.

The couple sat side by side, Ricks arm was slung casually across the back of Alex's seat as he whispered something in her ear. Her answering chuckle immediately drew Jon's attention as he escorted his wife into the room. He stood frozen in the doorway.

"Jon..." Dot asked "...are you coming?"

"Huh? Oh yeah."

He followed Dot over to the buffet table and retrieved a plate from the warming rack. Not one thing he passed appealed to him. As he trailed along behind his wife perusing the buffet spread, Jon would surreptitiously glance in Alex's direction. She looked calm and relaxed as she joked with Rick, but every now and then when her husband's attention was diverted - when she thought no one was watching - he could see the sadness behind the facade. The sadness he was sure he had caused.

Alex hadn't noticed his presence in the room yet. Or maybe she had and she was just choosing to ignore it. That thought was like a spear to the gut. He was so engrossed in watching Alex, he hadn't even noticed that while she seemed oblivious to his presence, her husband wasn't. Rick caught Jon's eye and nodded. Jon nodded back.

He caught up to Dot who had progressed further down the buffet line than he had in his distracted state. "Babe," he said gently, "will you be ok for a while? There's something I have to do."

Dot looked at her husband curiously and then followed his gaze to where it was settled on Alex. "Don't you think you did enough damage last night? She looks happy enough Jon. Just leave her be."

"I owe her more than that Dottie. She deserves an apology and I'd like to give her one."

"Hey, they're your balls. Knock yourself out."

Jon drifted towards their table, the empty plate forgotten in his hand.

"Morning guys." He said quietly so as not to startle her as he sidled up to the table.

Alex ignored him.

"Mornin' mate," Rick smiled. "Did you get some sleep?"

"Eventually yeah," he chuckled and winked over Alex's head, "thanks. Hey man, would you mind if I borrowed your gorgeous wife for a bit?"

Alex shook her head almost imperceptibly, pleading Rick with her eyes to say no.

"Of course not man. Go ahead." The irate look Alex shot her husband would have been amusing had Jon not known he was the cause of it.

"Alex?" Jon placed his empty plate on the edge of the table and held out a hand for her to take.

"Jon can't we do this some other time...I just sat down to eat." Alex protested.

Jon just shrugged, "I promise I'll have you back before your eggs are cold...and hey, even if I don't..." he added with a sheepish smile, "...it's a buffet...I'll make you a new plate myself."

"Ok fine," she rolled her eyes, "but this better be quick. I don't get enough time with my husband as it is," she said, having the satisfaction of seeing pain flicker across his beautiful face. Rising, ignoring the hand he offered, she demanded, "Where?"

"Follow me." He turned to Rick before walking away. "Thanks man."

Rick nodded once.

Jon placed a hand on Alex's back to guide her from the room and felt her stiffen beneath his palm. Could he expect anything less? He led her through a pair of French Doors to a beautiful little courtyard garden. The second the door closed behind them, he knew it was a mistake. Soft flakes of snow drifted slowly to the ground where they immediately turned to slush. All of the trees were baron. The fountain – the centrepiece of the garden – sat dormant for winter. Alex who was dressed in only a light sweater shivered violently with the cold.

"Shit," he cursed, "this ain't gonna work." He glanced around the small garden and saw a door off to their right slightly ajar. "Here," he said and grabbed her hand unconsciously, as he led her to the only shelter from the elements he could see.

The door led to a small private dining room that adjoined – by way of an ante-chamber - the larger one they had just been in. The room was arranged for an intimate dinner for two. The table was intricately laid with all of the finery royalty would expect. On the far wall a fire blazed beneath a marble mantle, framed by two sumptuous arm chairs. Jon pulled one closer to the fire and indicated for Alex to sit. She complied.

Rather than sitting in the other he pulled up a foot stool so he was directly before her. He sat stiffly, legs open, feet placed either side of hers. His elbows rested on his knees and his hands lulled between them. He seemed to be focused on some area between them and the floor.

Tension sparked in the room while Jon mustered up the courage to speak. Just as Alex was about to rip into him he raised his head and met her eyes. "Jesus Ali, I don't even know where to start." He paused and drew in a deep breath exhaling loudly before he continued. "You know I'm not someone who likes to admit they're wrong...but yesterday...last night...baby, I'm so sorry. I have no excuse."

Every word of the tirade Alex had prepared evaporated from her mind with those few words. But he wasn't done yet. He reached tentatively for her hands. She didn't pull away.

"What can I say baby? Jealousy is a terrible thing, and not something I am accustomed to, except it seems where you are concerned. I can't tell you how much I hate seeing his hands on you. And do you know what the worst thing is?" She shook her head slightly, his eyes never left hers. His thumbs traced circles on the back of her palms. "I actually like the son-of-a-bitch."

Alex found her voice, "Do you think it's any easier for me Jon? I've been watching you with Dot for years. She is a wonderful woman, Jon. You know that right?" He nodded. "I feel like a god damn whore every time I'm in the same room as her. You're hers Jon. You belong to her in every way possible."

"Not in the way that counts most...my heart belongs to you."

"Oh Jon." She shook her head hopelessly.

The silence seemed to stretch forever then.

"Did Rick mention I saw him last night?" Jon finally asked, shifting his focus to the floor.

"NO?"

Jon chuckled. "Probably didn't want to embarrass you."

"Why would you seeing my husband embarrass me?" Alex had no idea what he was talking about.

He chuckled again, but there was little amusement in it. "Never mind."

"Oh no you don't, Jon...What are you talking about? Where did you run into my husband?"

Jon winced, he really hated that word. "In the bar."

"Oh...what were you both doing in the bar? And when? I wouldn't have thought `he would have time since we...." she let the thought trail off but it was obvious to Jon where it was heading.

"Rick came down for a drink. I couldn't sleep." He said simply. He met her eyes again. "I felt like an ass for the way I treated you and besides..." He looked back down at his feet.

"Besides what?"

"The couple in the next room were going at it half the night and I could hear it through the walls." His expression was hidden from her but she imagined that mischievous grin of his.

Jon didn't elaborate further. Slowly the cogs of her brain turned over as she wondered why he had told her this. Well she had asked, but his reluctance to meet her eyes was telling her there was more to it. After a couple more minutes of consideration Alex's face began to redden.

"What room are you in Jon?" She asked softly.

"216." When he looked up there wasn't even the slightest hint of amusement in his features as she'd imagined. His expression was...tortured. The term sounded melodramatic to her mind but there really was no other way to describe the pain that was so clearly etched into every line of his face.

"Regardless of all the shit with Dot," he said sadly, "at least you've never had to listen to us."

"Oh Jesus Jon, I am soooo sorry." She took his cheek in her palm. "I swear...I didn't know you were next door." What a fucking nightmare this weekend was turning into.

"I know that Alex," he said, his voice raw with emotion, "but would it have made a difference if you did?"

"Jesus Jon, do you seriously think I could hurt you on purpose like that?" She asked.

Like what I did to you last night. "Fuck. I'm sorry Ali. I know you'd never be capable of that. That's the kind of shit I would pull....I did pull." He shook his head. "It's just that...well...I guess I've been trying to tell myself that what you have with him isn't real...that you only married him to get back at me. But that's not it is it?"

"Maybe it started that way." Alex admitted.

"But it's not like that now?"

Her reply was barely audible. "No...it isn't."

"You love him."

It was a statement...not a question, but Alex felt she needed to answer regardless. She nodded. "I love you both."

"But you married him." Jon's voice cracked on the last word.

"Because you were already married...and you made it clear that you couldn't or wouldn't give that up." She defended.

"So...here we are."

"Yep...here we are."

"I don't think I can lose you again Ali." Jon dropped to his knees and rested back on his heels between her thighs.

She hooked a finger under his chin and forced him to meet her gaze. "Did I say you were going to?"

 "I...I thought after the way I behaved last night...." the sentence trailed off.

"Jon we've tried to be apart...it clearly didn't work...for either of us."

"Is this working?"

"I don't know...but I think we can make it work."

"What do you want from me Ali?"

Alex took his face tenderly between her hands and held his gaze. "Love me when I'm with you. Think of me when I'm not. And try to be understanding when I can't drop everything to be with you."

"I've never asked that of you."

"Jon" her tone was chastising but gentle "...we're being honest here...you know you have." She held up a hand to stop his protest. "And that's ok...I want to be that demanding on your time too...but I know that isn't realistic...for either of us. You are just so used to getting whatever you want that you expect me to fall into line too, but baby...I have a life...I have commitments. If by chance our schedules mesh that's wonderful...I like nothing better than spending my free time with you...but you have to understand, particularly now, Dot will be having the...the baby soon..." Jon watched her choke over the words and realised just how much his malicious little display of the evening before must have cost her. Perhaps he had been wrong in thinking that hearing her make lo...no...fucking Rick... had been harder for him than what she had endured. "...and with your tour coming up that won't happen often. We just have to make the most of our time together when it does. There have to be sacrifices on both sides if this is going to work." Alex finished firmly.

"I understand that but..."

"No buts Jon. If you want this to work, you have to commit to it. I can't do it alone. We just have to accept and enjoy what time we manage to steal."

"And try not to spend it arguing." He smiled

Alex nodded in agreement. "And try not to spend it arguing." The smile that touched her eyes, melted his heart. They would be ok. Somehow they would be ok.

Jon raised himself to his knees. The inside of her knees touched lightly on his hips. "Can I kiss you Ali?" He asked hesitantly.

Ali didn't say a word but drew him forward into her arms and pressed her lips to his. The kiss was slow and tender and healing.

A few minutes later, when they were preparing to leave the sanctuary of the little room, Alex with her hand on the door knob, Jon touched her lightly on the arm. She turned to face him expectantly.

"Can I ask you a question?" He asked of her.

"Anything."

"You've spoken to Rick about us...well me?" This was a statement more than a question.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because I found it was too hard to keep such an important part of my life separate from him." She answered truthfully.

 "He doesn't know..." Jon pointed back and forth between them.

"Of course not. He knows we're friends...and that I have always been a fan. He doesn't quite understand the logic behind my refusal of that job on your tour a couple years back and sometimes I think he may even suspect that we had something once. But he has never broached the subject with me. I assume he probably dismissed the idea because of how young I was."

"He's a good man." Jon said reluctantly.

"Yes he is. Just like Dot's a good woman. I'm just sorry that we dragged them both into this sorry mess."

"Me too baby...you have no idea how much."

As Jon and Alex entered the salon hand in hand a couple of minutes later, and headed for the table where Dot now sat chatting to Rick, every pair of eyes in the room turned to watch them. Thank God they were among friends.

Rick and Dot looked up expectantly when they reached the table.

In an act of long forgotten valour, Jon placed Alex's hand in Ricks, "You are one very lucky man. Thank you, Rick."

"I could say the same," Rick replied looking at Dot affectionately.

"Oh, I already know that." Jon smiled at Dot, and glanced down at the empty table. He turned to Alex, "Looks like I owe you that plate of food after all. I'll be right back." Jon smiled at her warmly and headed in the direction of the buffet.

Chapter 56

At two a.m. Jon sat alone in the bar of Ritz. An empty glass and a bottle of Jack sat before him, but he couldn't bring himself to pour it. He couldn't believe what he had done to Alex earlier. It was the height of cruelty and he knew it. Everything that had happened since had been totally deserved. But that didn't mean he had to like it.

He couldn't believe it when, shortly after Rick and Alex had left the reception, Dot had led him – in stony silence – to their room and it was, of all places, the room adjoining Alex's. Could it get any worse? He had thought at the time. The answer was a most definitive YES.

As he and Dot had climbed into bed together, the set of her shoulders and turned back telling him in no uncertain terms that he shouldn't be expecting to get amorous with her even if the inclination arose (which it hadn't), the noises from the next room began. Jon knew from experience that Alex was a very vocal lover. She proved to be no different with her husband.

"Oh god baby yes...." her muffled cries penetrated the wall. Damn it.

"Sounds like someone's having fun," Dot murmured and then drifted off onto a peaceful slumber.

An hour, and countless 'Oh god Rick please'....and 'yes Rick yes's later, it was all Jon could do not to scream. He covered his head with first one, then two pillows. All that accomplished, was preventing him from breathing.

"Harder baby...faster..."

That was it...He got out of bed and opened the French doors to let in the sounds of the night. They – apparently - liked the sounds of the night too. Their door was open. He heard her scream out her third... or was it fourth orgasm as he closed the doors behind him. Fuck it all to hell.

He threw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and headed down to the bar. If he didn't know better he would have sworn she was doing it on purpose. But he did know better. And there was no way she could have been. He hadn't even known what room he was in, until Dot had led him to that God damned door.

So now here he sat drowning his sorrows. The bar was closed for the night, but Jon had discovered - - quite some time ago – that nothing was closed when you threw enough money at it. He heard footsteps approaching from behind him and without even turning said, "bars closed."

"So I see," said a much too familiar voice, "But I was hoping since you were in here I could grab a drink to take upstairs."

"Help yourself buddy." Jon replied and indicated to the bar he was leaning on. "It's all paid for."

"Shit. What has you so bummed you bought out the entire bar?" Rick asked as he settled into the seat beside Jon.

Jon stole a quick glance at the man. He was neatly dressed but his hair was rumpled and his lips were red and swollen. Worst of all...he smelled like her. Her perfume. Her sex.

"I had to get out of my room and this..." once again he indicated the bar, "....this was the only way. There is a couple up there fucking like god damned fucking rabbits. I couldn't sleep for the noise."

"OH shit. You're not on the second floor are you man?" Rick asked in jest.

"Yep."

"Not anywhere near room 215?" He asked a little more sheepishly.

"216"

Rick winced, "Fuck man, I'm sorry."

Jon waved his apology off, wishing the bastard would just grab his drink and leave. No such luck.

"It's just that well Al and I get to see each other so infrequently, when we do...well I'm sure you understand."

"Uh huh." For fucks sake shut up.

"And Al has always been a little on the vocal side in bed."

"I know," Jon mumbled.

"What?"

Something in Ricks tone had his head snapping up to look at the man. "Sorry?" Jon asked, trying to think what he had said. He had been so busy trying to block out thoughts of Alex he hadn't been concentrating on what was coming out of his mouth. Now Rick was sitting her looking at him expectantly with a look on his face that could only be described as cold.

"What did you mean by 'I know'?" Rick asked very succinctly.

"Did I say that?" Jon asked. Rick nodded. "Oh shit, sorry man. I didn't mean it like that," Jon bluffed, "I just meant I could tell...hell, I think half the hotel knows that Ali is vocal in bed."

"Oh yeah...right. Sorry." Rick said more evenly. "I just get a little...well hell, I'm away from her so much. You know how it goes man. I'm sure you're the same with Dot."

"No...not really," Jon said dismissively, "but I can understand how you could be like that about Ali."

They sat in silence for a few minutes before it became too much for Jon. "Look man I want to apologise for before. I should have told Dot about Alex. I know she's still hurting over this whole kid thing."

"Yeah...we both are." Rick studied his glass intently.

Jon studied him for a moment. The pain exuding from the man was palpable. "Yeah I guess you are. Sorry man. It must be tough."

"It is. But we'll get through it." Rick paused for several seconds as he considered his next words carefully. "You know you really did hurt her feelings back there. It took me ages to coax her out of the bathroom when we got back to our room. Seeing her walk out of there with those red puffy eyes...I swear man if I had have known you were in the room next door I would have come in and flattened you."

Jon nodded slowly. "And I would have deserved it."

"She wouldn't talk about it or even admit that it upset her but I know it did. She thinks a lot of you man and I think you just shattered the illusion a little." Rick said. It was now his turn to study Jon intently.

Jon couldn't meet the man's gaze. He swore softly under his breath and studied the glass in his hands instead. Finally the silence was too much for him. "Shit man, I don't know what to say. A simple apology doesn't seem good enough."

"It's not me that has to hear it." Rick said and let Jon ponder that for a while before he spoke again. "Alex said you were a big help when she first found out. Thanks for that."

"What did she say?" Jon asked a touch of panic bleeding into his voice.

"Just that she had run into you a little while later, that you had been a good friend and you were there to support her. I can't tell you how much I appreciate that. Why didn't you tell Dot though?"

"I'm not sure she would have been as understanding about the time I spent with Alex in that first couple of weeks." Fucking her brains out every chance I got, he added silently to himself.

"Surely she wouldn't have been that unreasonable?"

"Perhaps not...but I spend so little time with the family I could hardly tell her I was spending some of it supporting another woman through an emotional crisis, I just thought it better not to mention that I was seeing Alex at all. I'm sorry it came to what it did though. I told Dot tonight about Alex telling me...when she reamed me out over my insensitivity. She wasn't even talking to me by the time we got to our room." Jon explained.

"Man, I'm sorry."

"Hey it is what it is." Jon shrugged. "Now if you two animals are done for the night..." He offered a small smile to hide the twinge of pain he felt, "I think I'll try to get some sleep."

"Al was taking a bath when I headed down and then she was heading to bed...well back to bed..." he held his hands up in a gesture of surrender, "...to sleep. I think I may have worn her out. She can never believe that I can go again so quickly..."

"TMI man," Jon interrupted, "just a little too much information there, my friend."

"Sorry. You heading up?" He raised his eyebrows expectantly.

"Yep."

"Let me just grab a bottle of Perrier and I'll head up with you."

They took the stairs instead of waiting for the lift, making small talk all the way. Jon entered his room a few minutes later waving goodbye to Rick at the door. As he finally drifted off to sleep some time later, he pondered what a shame it was that the guy had married his woman, 'cause he really liked the son of a bitch too much to hate him with the vehemence he wanted to.

***

Jon woke the next morning to more moaning and giggling coming from the other side of the wall. Fuck! The guy was superman. His morning hard on already tented the sheet that was spread loosely across his hips, and each erotic noise from his neighbours had him growing harder. He reached across the bed and found the warm body of his wife. Ooooh yes!

"Ohhh no you don't," Dot slapped his hand away from her breast not two minutes later.

"C'mon Dottie," Jon nuzzled into the back of her neck. "I need you baby."

"You don't need me Jon." She said as she scooted out the other side of the bed, "You just need someone to take care of that." She nodded towards is very obvious erection. "Obviously the couple next door have given your libido a rise."

"I don't give a fuck what Alex is doing." He snarled.

"What? That's Alex and Rick in there?"

"Yep."

"How do you know?"

"I ran into Rick in the bar last night...he confessed."

Dot raised an eyebrow as a high female squeal, breeched the wall, followed by a 'Ohhhh Rick...'

"Well, well, well...I honestly didn't think Alex had it in her."

"Oh, she has it in her alright," Jon muttered. I just wish it was mine.

Chapter 55

Before she knew what was happening, Jon had gathered her in his arms and was kissing her with a hungry intensity that shocked her momentarily into submission. She felt him guide her back into her room, and heard the door slam as he kicked it closed behind them. In four short paces he had her on the bed beneath him, her black fitted suit jacket was open and he was pulling at the silver silk cami she wore beneath. Suddenly her senses came back to her.

"Jon...Stop!" She said, her hands braced on his shoulder trying to push him away from her as he ravaged her neck.

"Jesus Ali, you have no idea how much I need you right now." He growled as he continued on his path down to her cleavage.

"Jon. Don't!" She gave one hard shove and he pulled back looking down at her puzzled.

"What's wrong baby?"

"I am not doing this with you here. Are you insane? My husband and your wife are both downstairs. Rick could walk in here any minute." She said as she sat up and straightened her clothes.

"Nah...he was busy telling Dot all about the Middle East. They'd make a great couple you know." He curled his hand around the back of her neck and drew her to him.

She pulled back. "Jon, I said NO!" She stood and took two steps back from where he sat on the edge of her bed.

"Ali, what the fuck? We don't have a lot of time here." He muttered, his dejection presenting itself as annoyance.

"We can't do this Jon." She replied calmly. She wouldn't rise to his provocation.

"The hell we can't. Jesus babe...I haven't seen you in over a month and it's not like your making things easier." He retorted angrily, jumping to his feet.

 

Now that was going too far. "The hell I don't." She mimicked his tone. "I'm the one who's been flying all over the fucking country to see you."

 

"Oh fuck you, Alex. You do not. You see me when it's convenient for you to see me." Jon snapped back.

 

"Well isn't that the pot calling the kettle black. Get out Jon." Alex indicated the door with a flip of her wrist. "I don't have time for your bullshit."

 

"My bullshit?" He replied coolly. "Are you fucking kidding me? You want me to just follow you around like a fucking puppy dog don't you? Well guess what, Alex, that ain't my style. I could walk into that room downstairs right now and pick any woman and take her to bed...married or not...husband there or not...but not you. No never you."

 

"Just go Jon...I don't want to argue with you anymore." Alex said resignedly shaking her head. "It's not worth the grief. Not for the little I get in return."

 

"Oh, that's just perfect. Run away again Ali. That's what you always do. You never want to face our reality do you?" He challenged.

 

"What's that Jon? That your job and your wife and your music and everything else come before me? Noooo honey, I faced that a long time ago.  I just can't fight you over it anymore."

 

"That's what I don't get babe... you have just as much consuming you as I do. You don't see me making demands of you." He watched as she raised a single sardonic eyebrow at that. "Can't we just accept that what we have is real. Can't you just love me for me? And appreciate the time that we do have together? 'Cause let me tell you honey, there are a whooooole lot of women who'd give their right arm to trade places with you right now."

 

"Get over yourself Jon." She huffed, "I do love you for you. That's why I can call you on your bullshit. And, whether you chose to admit it or not, I am the one making all the sacrifices in this relationship. As for those other women... if you can find one that will have your egotistical ass...please be my guest. Don't let the fact that you say that you love me stop you. But know this; I do not intend to stand here while you rub your hoards of admirers in my face.  I'm not exactly wanting for attention here either you know?"

 

"Oh really?" Ales watched the play of tension across his jaw as his teeth clenched shut. "So that's how it's gonna be, huh? Name one sacrifice you have made for me...just one?"

 

"I could name several."

 

"Let's hear 'em babe?"

 

"The job with Versace I turned down so I could fly out to LA to be with you. Or how about the trip to visit my husband I cancelled when you were having your latest emotional crisis? Or we could explore the fact that you fucked me in my husband's bed despite my protests and I have been living with the guilt of that ever since." She hadn't protested hard admittedly...but she had protested.

 

"You found more work in LA.  It's not like you were there just for me babe?"

 

"The hell I wasn't...and it wasn't a fucking million dollar contract...it was a lousy spread for fucking People."

 

"And suddenly not flying out to visit Rick..." he spat out the name in disgust, "....was all about me? Admit the truth Ali...you didn't want to see your..." he couldn't say it, he couldn't call that man her husband, "...him. You must think I'm fucking crazy. Don't even go there."

 

Alex stopped the continual pacing she had kept up throughout the argument and dropped to sit on the edge of the bed. "Just go Jon, please."

 

Jon opened his mouth to address the third and final issue when he looked at Alex...really looked at her...seeing her for perhaps the first time that night. She sat on the edge of the bed, shoulders slumped, head down and shaking no in a clear posture of resignation. What he saw immediately evaporated his temper. He urged himself to remember that the woman before him was not Dot. She was not the one making demands on him. She did love him unconditionally, regardless of how infrequently they saw each other. He tried to remember why he was arguing with her. Everything she had said was true. All of her points were valid...It was too risky to start anything here. Oh hell.

 

"Alright look, maybe I was a little out of line." It was the closest to an apology he could come. It fell far too short.

 

"Just go. I don't want to hear it anymore." Alex turned her back to him.

 

"Shit." He took a step towards her and stoped when he saw her frame stiffen. He didn't want to argue any more. "Ali, I didn't come up here to fight with you. I just...I love you so much. You have no idea what it does to me to be away from you...and then to have you this close and not be able to touch you...to love you like you deserve....it's making me a little crazy babe."

 

"Don't."

 

"It seems like I spend more hours out of every day and night than I should trying to figure out a way I can steal just a few hours with you but hell, you know what my life is like at the moment. I am being torn in a million directions. I am under an unbelievable amount of pressure," he raked the long strands of hair out of his eyes, "I don't seem to have a second to myself...but any down time I do have is spent thinking of you.... and you're...you're the only peace I have. When I'm with you it's the only time I can just...be me. I need to be with you Alex."

 

"Please Jon...just go. I'm too tired to do this with you right now.  All I have heard from you in your little speech is how this affects you. You haven't even considered me.  The fact that I am always here when you need me...I said need Jon, not want. Or that not once through this whole thing have I made ANY demands on your time ...while you have made countless on mine...It's always all about you."

 

"I see." He said sadly, still a little stunned at her dismissal.

 

"I wish you did."

 

Jon opened his mouth to respond, closed it realising there was nothing more he could say, and walked silently out the door.

 

***

 

"Fuck," Alex muttered under her breath as she re-entered the banquet room a short time later. Standing together, over in the far corner of the room was her husband and...Dorothea.

Rick immediately caught her attention and waved her over. She plastered the best smile she could manage on her face and started towards them. From the corner of her eye she spied Jon at the bar. In the time it took her to cross the room she had observed him down three shots of amber liquid in quick succession. This isn't going to be pretty, she mused.

"Hey babe," Rick smiled at her warmly, "All done and stowed away?"

"Yep." She smiled back. "Sorry, I was a little longer than expected. I marked up all the film canisters ready for the lab. The courier will be here first thing in the morning to get them back to the studio. Lanie is going to get started on the developing for me, while we get a few days to ourselves." She snuggled into the warm security of Ricks embrace and turned to face Dot. "I hope he didn't bore you too much?"

"Are you kidding me? It's fascinating. Although, I'm a little surprised you let him out of your sight. It sounds like he has had a few close calls over there." Dot replied.

"I could no more keep him from his work than you could keep Jon here from the stage." She answered as Jon stumbled up behind his wife and laid a wet sloppy kiss on her cheek as he fondled her distended belly. "And I wouldn't want to. My career is also very important to me. I can't imagine my life without it, so I know just how he feels."

"Jon...stop that," Dot disentangled herself from her husband's drunkenly amorous embrace.

"What?" he asked indignantly. "I'm not doing anything wrong. I can cuddle my wife in public. I'm allowed to do that." He looked pointedly at Alex for the briefest of seconds, bent to kiss Dots tummy and then leaned in to kiss her.

"Jon...Please." She leaned away from him, but he swayed slightly so she stepped to his side placing an arm around his waist to steady him.

Alex watched him sceptically. While she had seen him down the three drinks in quick succession on her way into the room, she hadn't seen him drink the rest of the night. Something told her that he wasn't quite as drunk as he appeared. Jon moved around to stand behind Dot and once again placed his hands over her belly. Alex could have sworn he looked directly at her as he did, but she had been distracted by Dots next question.

Picking up on the earlier conversation she asked Alex, "But surely a family is important to you too. I just can't imagine what my life would be like without little Stephy and this one on the way. Carrying a child is such an amazing feeling...a miracle. It's really something you shouldn't deny yourself Alex and I doubt you'd be able to keep up your current pace when you're pregnant." Dots hand moved to cover Jon's on her stomach. Sometimes it was just easier to flow with the tide than fight it.

Alex's eyes began to sting, "That won't be a problem."

"I really don't see how you'll be able to manage both." Dot continued oblivious.

In perfect unison Jon and Rick both said "Alex can't have kids."

Dot flushed bright red, and at the same time that Rick drew Alex further into his protective embrace, she was swinging out of Jon's, turning to glare at him. "Jon, why didn't you say something before?" She asked in a dangerously low voice.

He shrugged non-committaly.

"How long have you known? For that matter how did you know? I can't believe that you are standing here flaunting this in Alex's face." She kept her voice low trying to spare herself any more embarrassment.

"I'm not flaunting anything. You're the one going on about it...not me." Jon said defensively.

"Well I wouldn't have mentioned it if you had of said something earlier." Dot ground out through clenched teeth.

She turned back to face Alex. "Alex...I am so sorry. I didn't know."

"Don't be silly. We are dealing with it aren't we, honey?" She turned and laid a hand on Rick's cheeks and kissed him soundly. "We still have each other and that's more than most people ever get. And don't be annoyed with Jon. He obviously just wasn't thinking. I don't think anyone would be that cruel intentionally."

Jon had enough grace to look uncomfortable when she said this.

"There isn't any hope? I mean medical research is coming along in leaps and bound these days." Dot asked.

Suddenly Alex could barely speak past the lump in her throat.

"Afraid not. The doctors were pretty confident in their diagnosis." Rick answered for her.

Struggling to keep her voice even, Alex said, "If you'll excuse us. I think I'd like a little time alone with my husband." The band struck up a slow song and she turned to Rick, "One dance before we head up stairs?" she asked.

"Anything for you babe." He took her hand and led her across the room to the dance floor.

Alex felt Jon's eyes on her back the entire time. When she had returned to the reception earlier she had made a promise to herself not to flaunt her relationship with Rick in Jon's face. Even now she had no real desire to do so. She knew how much it could hurt. But as Rick folded her into his arms and pulled her close, she couldn't help shooting one smugly defiant look in his direction.

Chapter 54

Alex was in the process of setting up her cameras for the formal shots that would be released to the press when she felt the presence behind her. "What's he doing here?" Jon growled in her ear, the tenor of his voice leaving no mistake as to which 'he' he was referring.

With barely a glance over her shoulder she responded. "He was invited. If you have a problem with that, I suggest you take it up with Richie and Heather." The happy couple were but a few yards away, blissfully unaware of the heated exchange taking place between their photographer and her lover.

"I wanted some time alone with you." He ground through clenched teeth.

"In case you have forgotten," she whispered, "you are here with your wife. That seems to have made time alone impossible regardless of Rick's attendance."

"I would have found a way." He insisted.

"Like you found a way to come see me this last month. I wouldn't hold my breath."

Jon huffed. "Alex...be reasonable. You know the situation."

"Far too well...But this is neither the time nor place to discuss it." She admonished.

Alex tried to keep her concentration focussed on her camera but was finding it increasingly difficult. It had been so long since they had seen each other that even his presence in the same room had elicited a strong physical reaction from her. One she knew all too well she had to hide. She had caught sight of him in the chapel during the service, and had found it hard to keep her attention focused on the bride and groom. She was having that same difficulty now.

"It seems that there is never a good time," he muttered.

"Well...isn't that telling you something?" She spat, as she corrected the final setting for the shoot.

"Yep, it's telling me that we need to commit to this more than we have been."

"And by that we you mean me I suppose?" She finally swung around to face him, defiant.

"NO," Jon yelled, frustration momentarily getting the better of him before lowering his voice as Richie shot him a warning glare. "By we I mean both of us. Though if I'm honest I have to admit more of that responsibility falls on my shoulders."

"You bet your sweet ass it does." And what an ass he had too, dammit Alex, focus.

"I'm sorry I haven't been around Ali. I'm being torn in a million different directions at the moment." He explained.

"Yep and as usual I'm the last to get a piece." He opened his mouth to object but she held up her hand to stop him. "Wrong time, wrong place. I have to get back to work. Go enjoy your family. There will be time enough later for us to argue this out." She said and turned dismissively back to her camera.

When she was sure he was gone she snuck a look on his direction. He had obediently returned to his wife's side, his disposition telling anyone who knew him well, that he wasn't happy to be there. Alex shook her head. She was disappointed in herself that she had to admit she was secretly pleased about that. She turned back to the task at hand.

***

"God, I've missed you baby." Rick's warm body had her pressed up against a wall in a dark corner of one of the Ritz's banquet rooms. His lips found hers in a fiery kiss, she was helpless to resist.

They were finally getting to the tail end of the evenings formalities and Alex was looking forward to the privacy of her room. Spending an evening in the same room as Jon and his wife was something akin to torture. Not that he was all that attentive as a husband...quite the opposite in fact, but Dots proprietary demeanour was beginning to annoy her. And she had no right to be annoyed...so then she got annoyed with herself for being annoyed... and then annoyed that Jon had put her in a position where she should be annoyed with herself for being annoyed. It was all one vicious annoying circle. If she could just get these photos done and spend a little time on some candids afterwards she would be able to execute her escape. For now though the comfort of Ricks embrace was one hell of a substitute.

Alex found the strength to pull away from him finally and gave a gentle push against his chest. "I've missed you too baby. But this isn't the time...I have to work."

He groaned but stepped back. "I know...but we have so little time. And it's been so long."

It was almost Christmas and the last time they had seen each other had been in August. They had met in London, where they had had an all too brief week together. Of course, Jon had been ropable, but Alex had very firmly reminded herself he had no right, just as he had no right to be starring daggers at Rick's back now. As she looked up and caught his eye he started across the room towards them.

"Oh Hell." She muttered.

"What?" Rick asked.

"Bongiovi's on his way over here." She sighed.

"And that's a problem?" he asked. "I thought you two were friends."

"Sometimes." It was a relationship she wasn't sure they couldn't claim.

"If he's done something to upset you babe..." Rick trailed off.

"No, no, no...it's nothing like that. Sometimes I just find him a little...Hey Jon." She said as if greeting him for the first time that evening. "It's been a while. You remember my husband Rick."

"How could I forget?" The last time I saw you, you were stealing my woman, you son of a bitch. "Good to see ya again, man." Jon said slapping Rick on the shoulder perhaps a little than required. "How's the Middle East treating you?"

"Good...besides keeping me away from my honey here." He moved to stand behind Alex and circle his arms around her. "Every minute away from her is its own tiny torture." He said and kissed her temple.

"I know what you mean." Jon gave Alex a pointed look while Rick's attention was diverted.

"Yeah I guess you do huh? You spend a lot of time away from Dot touring I guess."

"It's not easy being apart from the woman you love." Jon answered obliquely, looking directly at Alex a tight smile plastered to his face.

"Actually I saw Dot a little earlier...congratulations man, when is she due?" Rick asked, seemingly oblivious to Jon's pointed look at Alex.

"February," Dot said coming up beside Jon, "And thank you Rick. We couldn't be happier...could we honey?"

Jon turned up the corners of his mouth in a pitiful attempt at a smile.

"How are you Rick, Alex? Long time, no see, it must be a year now. What have you been doing with yourselves?" Dot asked.

"I've been working in the Middle East actually..." Rick began.

Jon interrupted, "Would you mind terribly if I borrowed Alex for a few minutes? I have some business propositions to discuss with her."

"Jon," Dot chastised, "This isn't the time to discuss work. Just because you're a workaholic it doesn't mean everyone else is. I'm sure Alex would rather relax and enjoy her evening."

For some insane reason Alex found herself coming to Jon's defence. "Actually I am on the clock Dot. And unfortunately Rick can attest to the fact that I am just as much a workaholic as your husband. But you are right about one thing, this isn't the time for this particular discussion. Sorry Jon," she added turning towards him, "but the happy couple are just about to cut the cake." She indicated to the centre of the room where an elaborate cake stood atop a round table draped in silk and fine lace.

Alex leaned up to lay a gentle kiss on Rick's lips. "Back to work I guess. It was good to see you both again. Jon, please feel free to call my office if you still want to discuss that proposition. I rather not mix business with pleasure."

"Oh, you can count on that." He smiled at her back as she made her way over to the bride and groom.

 

The cake was cut, the first dance had been had. Alex stood off to the side clicked off shot after shot of the guests as they twirled across the dance floor. A light tap on her shoulder had her lowering her camera.

"Dance with me?" Richie stood before her hand extended.

"Richie I'm working here."

"Now Darlin'," he grinned at her, "you can't turn down the groom. Besides you have done more than enough today. It's time for you to lay down those cameras and relax. Now put that down on the table here," he patted the table in front of an impeccably coiffed older woman, "Mom will watch it for you and come dance with me, damn it."

"How can I refuse an offer like that?" Alex placed the camera on the table in front of Mrs. Sambora and took Richie's hand.

They had been on the dance floor barely a minute when he asked, "Alex, do you know what's going on with Jon lately?"

"No idea. What makes you think I would?" At the start of their affair, Jon and Alex had determined that even their closest friends were to remain oblivious to their relationship. The more people that knew the more dangerous it would become for both of them. She hoped Jon had remained discrete.

"Jon has always said how close the two of you are?"

"And just how close is that?" She asked eying him speculatively. It took everything she had to stop the panic she was feeling from seeping into her voice.

Richie caught the tremor in her voice, "Don't worry darlin'...he didn't say anything about that. I know you two had somethin' pretty special...but that was a long time ago. You have Rick now and he has a family...not that that means much in his case I guess," he whispered. Alex frowned. What the hell did that mean? "It's just that I know you still hold a special place in his heart and I know he talks to you. I was hoping you could shed some light on why he's been acting like a bear with a sore tooth of late."

"Sorry Rich, really have no idea...maybe it's just the pressure of the new album release?" she suggested.

"Nope...it's more than that. I know this whole thing with the baby has thrown him for a loop. He really didn't want another kid with things the way they are with him and Dot. I assume I'm not betraying any confidences here?" he paused. Alex shook her head. "But I really think there is more to it than that. Will you keep an eye on him Alex? Can you do that for me? I'll be out LA a bit now...at least til the tour kicks off and I'm worried about him."

"I'll do the best I can," She smiled up at him gently. "Now, I really think that your wife would like some of your attention," she said and turned him to where Heather was watching from the side of the dance floor with interest. "I don't want to be the cause of your wife's displeasure on your wedding day."

"Nah," he chuckled, "Heather's cool. She knows I only have eyes for her. Besides..." he added in an aside, "I told her what I was up to." He bent down and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "It's been good catching up with you Alex. It's been too long. Don't be such a stranger next time huh?"

"It's been good to see you too. And you'll be seeing me soon enough. I have to get all these photos in to albums for you. They should be done by the time you get back home. Call me then. I had better get back to it." Alex said, indicating her camera.

"Oh no you don't. I told you," he said firmly, "you're work here is done. Put your gear away and enjoy yourself. I saw Rick earlier and I know he's been out of town. Spend your evening with him. You've already done far more than we asked for."

"If you're sure..." Alex smiled.

"I am....now go." It was the final word.

Alex retrieved her camera from Mrs. Sambora and gathered the rest of her gear together. She found Rick having a drink at the bar, he was having such a good time regaling a few guests with tales of action and danger that he decided to stay put while she went to drop her gear off in their room.

The elevator door dinged on her floor and she stepped out into the empty corridor. She let herself into her room and stepped into the bathroom to freshen up before rejoining the party. It had been a long day, and backed up on the heals of the flight over, she was absolutely exhausted. She perched precariously on the edge of the bath to gather her thoughts for a few minutes.

It was always hard for her to see Jon with Dot, regardless of how distant they seemed. Dot would always have something she wouldn't....the right to love him.

Wearily Alex rose. She would go downstairs, retrieve her husband, take him to bed and spend the rest of the night in the warmth of his arms. She gathered up her purse and inspected its contents to ensure she had her room key. Reassured of its presence, she swung the door wide and walked straight into Jon.

Chapter 53

"When am I going to see you again?" Jon whined into the phone.

"You tell me," Alex replied coldly. It had been almost a month since she had seen him last. She had spent the better part of the last few months pandering to his schedule and it was most certainly taking a toll on her.

"Awe baby..." he soothed, "don't be like that."

"Don't be like what Jon?"

"You know I've been busy...what with recording the album and getting ready for the tour. I just want to see you as much as I can." Jon was laying back on a very comfortable king size bed in a very plush suite in Los Angeles. He was in town for a few days to do the Leno Show and some other promotional gigs. He had hoped Alex would fly out so they could steal a couple of days together, but she had stubbornly insisted that she had work to do. "Are you sure you can't come out here?" he pleaded.

"Sure Jon...no problem. I'll just turn down a million dollar commission so my lover is sexually satisfied. I'll be on the next plane honey....you just keep your dick warm till I get there." She retorted.

"OK Ali...there is no need to be sarcastic."

"Apparently there is Jon. For the last few months I have been at your beck and call. Much to the detriment of my business I might add. When exactly is it gonna be your turn to sacrifice? Can you tell me that Jon? If I'm so God damn important to you, why aren't you here with me?" She fumed.

"I'll be home next month, and then I'll be settled for the next few," he said hoping to calm her down. It was so not how he had imagined this conversation going. He had hoped that with a little cajoling he would be able to get her to acquiesce and fly out to be with him. He had even sent the jet back just in case. It would be sitting at the airport now, prepped and ready to go.

"Yes, with your pregnant wife." Alex hated that she sounded so jealous.

"You know that wasn't my idea."

"Takes two Jonny," was all she said. She was sitting at the window seat in her bedroom in the Jersey house, staring blankly across the river. It was a crystal clear winter evening. Distorted by the icicles that had formed in the corners of the windows, the distant lights from the opposite bank of the river looked like little stars, giving the scene a surreal fairytale quality.

There was a long pause over the line. Then he said, "What are you wearing?"

Alex couldn't help but laugh at the abrupt change in topic. "You're incorrigible."

"I know." She could hear his smile all the way down the phone line, and almost...almost wished she had given in a joined him. She could have been laying in his arms this very moment in nice warm California hotel room...but NOOOO. Instead she was sitting home...alone...again...in frosty New Jersey.

"Well let me see...,"she said looking down at her slim figure. It was midnight and she was ready for bed. The house was heated so it wasn't like she had to dress for the cold, so she was wearing her usual sleeping attire...nothing. The only light in her bedroom came from the soft glow of embers in the fireplace, and the moonlight streaming in her window. "I have on those purple sweats you love so much," she paused to listen to him groan, "the Boston Celtics Jersey...oh and those lovely blue bed socks Mum sent me."

"You are so lying," he chuckled. "You're naked...aren't you?"

"Ask a stupid question Jon..." A tingle ran up her spine as his low growl vibrated the receiver on her ear.

"Where are you?"

"Just climbing into bed now." He heard the rustle of fabric as she settled herself beneath the duvet.

"I wish I was there with you..." he said. He could picture the scene exactly. He had only been to her home the one time. It had freaked her out having him there, even though there was no chance they would get caught out with Rick overseas. Usually their trysts were conducted in her apartment or a hotel in the city.

Alex let out a deep sigh, "I wish you were here too, baby," she said then paused, "well not here...but with me. We can't be together here anymore Jon...it's not right. I know it's dumb but I even feel a little guilty just talking to you from this bed remembering what we did in here."

"I'm sorry baby," he whispered sincerely, "I honestly never intended for things to go that far."

It had been the last time they had seen each other. They had spent a glorious afternoon together in the city but when it came time to drop her home he had not been able to leave her. He had coerced an invitation out of her despite her better judgement, then once inside had insisted on a tour. He had taken her in her bedroom with an urgency and desperation he had rarely known before. It was a raw primitive urge to mark her as his and to defile the sanctity of her marriage bed. He hadn't been thinking at the time of the ramifications it would have for Alex, but he had certainly considered them since.

"I know...me either...it's just...when you touch me Jon, I just can't seem to help myself. You're like a force of nature."

He chuckled softly at that and her heart clenched. "I hope this isn't just about sex for you Ali." He said a little more soberly, "because you know you mean so much more than that to me."

"So you keep saying...but it doesn't always feel that way." She answered quietly.

"What are you talking about?" he asked indignantly.

"When I'm with you, it's wonderful...perfect. I feel cherished and loved and adored, but Jon, it seems the second we're apart it's almost like...oh I don't know... out of sight out of mind, I guess. I'm so far down on your list of priorities at the moment I'm not sure I figure in there at all. And yet when you call I come running. I guess I'm just sick of being the one to make all the sacrifices."

And there they were back at square one.

"Ali, I promise you that will all change very soon...I have a few plans in the works as we speak. But baby....in the meantime....please don't doubt my love for you. You are always in my thoughts...you're the first thing I think of in the morning and the last thing on my mind at night. I love you with all my heart."

Alex sighed contentedly. It had been a long day and she was exhausted. "Love you too," she murmured.

"Don't you dare fall asleep on me Alex."

"Can't... help... it." She whispered slowly, a soft purr emphasising her words.

"Damn it Alex. I was hoping I could convince you to come out here. I need you so bad right now baby."

"How bad?"

"You have no idea," he growled. The sexy rumble in her ear roused her a little.

"So why don't you 'splain it to me," she said lazily.

"I need to feel your skin on mine, our bodies pressed so tightly together that I don't know where you stop and I begin."

"Mmmmmmm," she moaned.

"Jesus Ali, you have no idea what that sound does to me. You have me wound up like a fucking spring. I'm so hard it hurts."

"So fix it," she said. Alex had never been one to beat around the bush.

"It's not the same."

"Not the same as what baby... my hand stroking you..."

"Yes." He whispered huskily.

"My mouth sucking you?" She teased.

"Fuck yes," he growled.

"Stroke yourself for me Jon. Imagine it's my hand wrapped around you, moving slowly...up and down, up and down, rubbing my thumb lightly across the tip. I wish I was there so I could lick off that drop of pre-cum I know is waiting for me."

Another growl, this time incoherent.

The noises Alex was hearing through the receiver sparked her own desire and she found herself slipping her finger into the slit between her thighs. She was already wet with desire and wanting.

"I want to kiss and lick and suck every inch of you baby," she said breathily.

"Touch yourself for me Ali. I want to hear you come."

"I already am."

"Oh God!" he breathed, "Tell me..."

Alex drew her lower lip between her teeth and arched her spine. His voice was so rugged and raw, the very sound of it was almost more than she could bear.

"I'm sucking on my left forefinger." He heard the slight pop as she extracted it from her mouth. Now I'm using it to circle my nipple, wishing it was your tongue."

She heard him shudder. "It feels sooo good baby...but I wish it was you. Now I'm kneading my breast with my hand."

"Pinch your nipple..." he said and paused, "ahhh Ali?"

"Yes baby?"

"Where is your other hand?"

"Fingering my pussy Jon," she said matter-of-factly in a tone that clearly added "well duh!"

Jon's cock surged violently beneath the covers, as if it had a mind of its own. He had resisted taking himself in hand until now, but found he couldn't any longer. He reached down and grabbed it none too gently and gasped loudly. He threw off the covers and watched his hand move up and down his length wishing it was her touch.

"Fuck Ali, I need you here so bad right now."

She smiled with satisfaction and purred. "Close your eyes Jon...I am there. I'm laying right next to you. I have my hand wrapped around your beautiful cock and I'm stroking...slowly. All the way up and all the way down."

"I want to taste you baby," he rumbled, "I want to lick you up and down and suck on your clit til you scream."

"Yes...oh yes..." She panted. "I want your dick in me, filling me. My fingers are there now."

Jon imagined her laying on her bed, her dark auburn curls forming a halo around her head, her hand working frantically at the apex of her thighs to bring her to that sweet completion he had so often enjoyed with her.

"Oh hell baby...I'm gonna come," he grunted.

"Wait... for... me...almost... there..." she spoke in ragged gasps. Her small moans and whimpers were driving him insane.

Jon was teetering on the edge. He clamped down on the base of his cock, circling it with his thumb and forefinger delaying the inevitable. And then he heard what he was waiting for...

"Oooh....Oh Fuck, yes...yes." And then he was coming right along with her, screaming her name as hot streams coated his stomach and chest.

There was only panting on both ends of the line as they came back down from bliss. Jon broke the silence first. "Christ Ali...that was amazing. I haven't come like that since I was a kid."

"Well then," she said in an amused voice, "I guess that means I don't have to bother seeing you at all anymore. I can just call and that will do the trick."

"Alone!" Jon exclaimed exasperated. "I haven't come like that alone since I was a kid. Besides...I want you with me for so much more than sex. It's not the same without you around baby, without your smile to wake me in the morning. Or that special brand of Aussie bluntness I have come to adore...most of the time," he added a little more quietly.

"I know what you meant. I was just teasing. But for the record...it's not the same for me either. I miss you Jon. When can you get back here?" She tried her best not to sound whiney.

"I'm back home for the gig at MSG in two weeks, then I have a pretty full on week leading up to the Count Bassie gig on the fourteenth. I guess if I don't see you there the next chance will be Richie's wedding. You are still shooting that aren't you?"

"Yes." She said reluctantly. "You realise you owe me big for this don't you. That is so not what I am about professionally."

"Yeah... I know," she could hear his smile, "but you love me."

"Indeed I do." She replied. "Listen I'm heading out of town in the morning. I need to get some sleep. Can I call you tomorrow night?"

"You can try...but Dot is flying in to do some shopping with Heather before the big day."

A pang of jealousy gripped Alex hard. "Well I guess I won't bother then." She said a little more abruptly that she intended.

"Ali..." Jon started.

She interrupted before he could chastise her. "Yes...I know...she's your wife. You don't have to say it. I'll talk to you when I talk to you I guess. Or I'll see you in Paris."

"You will see me before then baby...I don't think I can stand another month of this. I will find a way."

Don't make promises you can't keep, she thought bitterly. "Goodnight Jon."

"Love you baby," he said, but she had already hung up.